Make this Chaos Count
by aura like the sun
Summary: A small collection of sweet moments shared between Rose and Dimitri, all set after Last Sacrifice. Guaranteed to cheer you up.
1. It's been a while

**A/N** I usually never post to fanfiction, but I wrote this short scene this summer and I thought I would share it. If people seem to like it, I might post some more, so be sure to tell me if you do. Please note that English is not my first language and my grammar is not perfect. I hope that there's nothing here that will bother you too much :) Enjoy!

 **Title** _ **: It's been a while**_

 **Word count: 1211**

 **Written: 6/1/2016**

I felt as if I was going to explode. Or collapse. Or melt. Anxious, excited and impatient emotions were having a rave inside my head, and I tried to focus on taking deep breaths to stay somewhat calm. Lissa, sitting across the small table, seemed completely oblivious to my emotional state as she chatted away casually.

"I was thinking about starting the demography essay on Tuesday." She asked before taking a sip of her latte. "Will you join me in the library?"

We were at a small cafe at a train station an hour away from Leigh. The open area was busy with people on their way home from work and school, and I had to speak just a bit louder than I would've anywhere else to make sure she could hear me.

"You know it's not due for another ten weeks, right?" I gave her a small smile as I met her gaze, then focused my attention on the to-go coffee cup in my hands. The coffee wasn't for me - I was still rebelling against the stuff. I had ordered a smoothie but doubted my stomach would accept anything in its current state. I pressed my fingers against the cardboard cup, holding them in place for as long as I could before the heat scalded my fingers. I waved them in the air to cool them off, then brought them back to the cup.

"Of course I know that." I guess she was Lissa, after all. "But I read an article the other day that said that you learn better if you study shor-" She paused. "Rose?" I was still caught up in my battle against the hot liquid and murmured a barely audible response.

"Rose." Lissa said again, and the tone of her voice compelled me to look up. There was a smug smile on her face, and I raised my eyebrows as her eyes shifted from my face to something behind me. I froze, then whirled my head around to where she was looking.

It felt almost like a dream, but I knew that the lonely, tall figure with a leather duster in the distance was none other than my very own, very real fiancé. As I rose from my chair he stopped walking, spotting me. Our eyes met across the train station, and there were a few moments when neither of us moved. My heart beat almost painfully in my chest, and I once again tried to focus on my breathing. Then, I remembered how to move, and took off running. As I neared him I could see a grin on his face, and I slammed into him with a force that would've sent anyone else flying across the room. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground.

"Hey." I murmured into the nape of his neck before breathed in his scent for the first time in over four months.

"Hello, Roza." I could feel his lips move through the fabric of my sweatshirt as he replied. "It's been a while."

"I missed you so much." I said, because I had. I'd missed his scent, his accent, his laugh. I'd missed waking up smelling his morning coffee, and falling asleep listening to his breathing. I'd missed taking early morning runs together and complaining about his crappy 80's music (which I had started to appreciate, not that I would ever admit that). I reminded myself, for probably the millionth time, to never take any of these things for granted. Nevermind the fact that after everything we'd done these past few years to be able to be together, I would never take a single moment with him for granted in my life. But I did appreciate it so much more than would've otherwise, and to be without him for longer periods of time hurt that much more. It reminded me of the time that he was really, truly gone. About the time I thought he was worse than gone.

So I gripped him tight. Even as he put me down again, my arms remained wrapped around him. His warm breaths tickled and I could feel his heart beat against my chest. He pulled away, just so much so that he could look into my eyes.

"I missed you too." He said. Simple words, but I knew they meant as much to him as they did to me. One of his hands traveled from my back to my cheek, and I leaned into it. I tucked a rebellious strand of hair that had escaped from his ponytail behind his ear.

"I love you." I whispered before pressing my lips against his. They were warm, sweet and tasted of dark chocolate. Their movement was slow and familiar, reminding me of all the times we'd kissed before. I had to break away eventually for air and pressed my forehead against his. "But don't get too full of yourself, Comrade, I'm still choosing the music on the way back." Dimitri chuckled softly, and his breath caressed my face.

"I love you too Rose," He mumbled, and after another couple of seconds added. "But we should go say hi to Lissa." I nodded, and we started making our way over to the smiling moroi queen who had been watching our exchange. Our hands were entwined, and my arm was just grazing his.

"I'm driving too you know." I stated confidently.

"No, you're not." He shook his head. "You have to pick one of them."

"Says who?"

"You do. Shotgun chooses the music, right?" Dimitri sent a teasing grin in my direction. I sighed dramatically.

"You and I both know that rule only applies when you're the one being the wheel." He let out a laugh that made feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I smiled like the Cheshire cat. It was rare for him to be this open with his emotion in public, but then again, I guess some happiness couldn't be contained. He shoved me playfully with his shoulder, and I returned the gesture, only with a considerably larger amount of force. Still, he didn't move more than an inch. He just grabbed my hand again and squeezed it.

"Let's promise each other to never be apart for this long again." I whispered, squeezing his hand back.

"Promise." He said, and I echoed.

We both knew it was a lie. There would be times in the future when we would have to spend way more time apart, often without knowing if we would ever meet again. But walking like this, hand in hand through a crowded train station, was more than either of us had ever dreamed of, and we were happy.


	2. I want whatever you want

**This chapter contains discussion regarding (pro-choice) abortion. If you find this topic upsetting, I advise you to not read any further.**

 **Title:** ** _I want whatever you want_**

 **Word Count: 682**

 **Written: 18/4-2018**

"Rose?" Dimitri called from the living room. He'd just gotten home, and it wasn't like me to not greet him. I took a deep breath before answering, but it was in vain. My voice still cracked.

"In here!" He hurried into the bathroom, and I realized how pathetic I must look. Curled up on the floor with my back against the wall. As Dimitri fell to his knees and started looking for injuries. I shook my head.

"I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." My voice was stuffy from crying earlier, and as soon as he raised his gaze and looked at me, tears started to fall again.

"Roza…" Dimitri murmured as he used his thumb to wipe the small droplets away. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" I looked towards the edge of the sink, and Dimitris gaze followed. There it was. The test.

I knew he got it when he tensed. After a brief look at me, he moved, reaching towards it, but I stopped him.

"Don't," I told him. "It's not ready yet." The poor man almost collapsed as the emotional roller coaster took yet another turn. Nodding stiffly, he sat down beside me.

"How much longer?" He asked after a while. I looked at my phone.

"Eight minutes." Another nod.

"Are you… sure?"

"No." I said. "But my period's a week late, and after what Adrian said…" We hadn't had a chance to talk about it yet; the possibility of having kids. What that would mean to us, what it changed between us. We'd both settled for a life without children long before we'd met one another.

We sat quietly next to each other for a few more minutes, my thoughts spinning until something felt like it cracked and broke within me.

"Oh shit, Dimitri," I said, burying my face in my hands. "I can't be a mother. Babies need _things_ like _baby food_ and _formula_ and _baths_. I don't know anything about bathing babies!"

"Don't worry about that, you could learn. No one knows until they have one."

"You know. You're a natural at almost everything, and you're amazing with kids. You'd be the best dad."

"And you would be a great mom."

"But... What if I don't want to be one?", I blurted. "I mean, I'm barely nineteen. I can't even decide what I want for dinner." Something in Dimitri shifted. I could practically feel his muscles tightening and relaxing.

"Rose", He said as he placed a hand on my cheek. "Look at me." I did. His eyes were soft and kind, yet his expression was serious. "I don't want one if you don't."

"Bullshit.", I huffed. "You want, like, twenty of them. Don't even try to lie to me. I see right through it."

"I'm not lying. The most important thing to me is you. And your happiness. Anything else is secondary. Of course, I'd like to have kids, but not if it won't bring you joy." I swear I had the most, perfect, loving, thoughtful boyfriend in the entire world.

"So you're saying that if I'm actually…" I knew I being was weak, but I couldn't bring myself to say the word. "You don't want me to keep it?" He shook his head.

"It does matter what I want, it is your body." I could do nothing but agree.

"Thank you," I said as I grabbed his hand.

The last few minutes we waited in silence, finger intertwined. When my alarm finally went off, he gave me questioning look. I let him look at it first. For a couple of seconds, he said nothing. Then:

"One line means negative, right?"

"Yes", I said. "And two is positive."

"Okay." A short pause. "Then it's negative."

"Negative?" I asked.

"Yes." He said.

"So there's no baby?"

"No baby."

Wow. I leaned my head back against the cool tile wall, and as I thought about the fact that all that had been for nothing, a short laugh escaped me. Then another one did, and I kept laughing until Dimitri joined me. I wrapped my arms around him.

"What the hell just happened?" I'd asked a question, but Dimitri didn't answer. He simply shook his head and kissed me.

 **A/N English is definitely** ** _not_** **my first language, so please forgive any mistakes. But more importantly, did you enjoy it? And did you think they stayed true to their characters? (Also, feel free to give me some prompts.) Don't forget to review - you words make my day 3**


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